the face seen as art...
that line is not supposed to be here... real entry starts below!
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so last month i went through my gallery and took down some deviations. there were several reasons why...
i want to have the best possible art posted and i was just not 100% happy with the outcome of some of my work (alot of recent stuff). i was trying to look at my art from an outside perspective, how someone else might see me (through my work) when looking at it for the first time, how someone who might "know me" in daily life might see it and what they might think. there of course is the issue of nudes. i'm fine with them, but i suspect there are people that "know me" who don't know that i do that type of art who might not be. honestly, it's not so much i care what people think as it is that i want to have work that i'm 100% proud of and can defend if necessary. i felt that my nudes from 10 years ago had much more depth and purpose, a meaning or theme behind the images, and my more recent work had a lack of any real purpose other than just on-the-surface aesthetics.
i was also getting a little bored with doing nudes, so i think i'll be taking a break from that for a while. when i do start shooting them again, they will have more depth, meaning and substance. i'm going to strive to do better!
another thing that's been bothering me for quite some time is (how unjustified and i put it) paying the "pervert tax" on dA.
if you've done or posted nude artwork before, you probably know what i'm referring to. it means having to put up with "deviants" with who fave your work and/or watch you who you find, when you visit their page to thank them, that they have zero deviations and a favorites gallery full of nudes (usually women). and you realize they are faving or watching you and all these other people basically for free porn. it disturbs me (especially when the first time this happened to me, i checked the guy's favs and there were pictures of nude women spread eagle right next to pictures of pretty smiling little girls). now i have nothing against porn or people who enjoy it. and i can appreciate that getting a strong physical, emotional or sexual reaction from a piece of artwork is a powerful and amazing thing and in some cases speaks to the power of the art to elicit such a reaction in its viewers. but come on, some things are just not acceptable. some of my art has dealt with sexuality and feelings regarding sexual longing, frustration, confusion, etc. i guess i just prefer, as an artist and a human being, to have my images seen as art first where the viewer understands the meaning behind the artwork first and foremost in the process of enjoying the work, then have whatever reaction they are going to have to it. (if i was trying to seduce the viewer in the camera, and i do, i can't say that the meaning was lost! and perhaps understood (on a very basic primal level). i guess i want the understanding... i want the love before the sex, so to speak. i don't mind that people like my art AND that it turns them on BUT i want them to appreciate the art and the person behind it and what it means NOT just see what's on the surface and get off there (literally). i enjoy when people view my art and have conversations with me about it through comments or notes. i like getting to know people and understand their motives and have them understand mine. there is meaning behind everything i do, a reason for everything. i guess from my "appreciators", my watchers, my friends, i expect that. i would hope deviantArt could be that kind of place, for artists and art appreciators, not for unappreciative silent favers jerking off in the shadows. it was starting to make posting nudes feel dirty, knowing the distasteful barage was going to come (pun not intended).
i mean i'm what most people (including those aforementioned who "know" me... who don't actually know me that well at all) would think of as a pervert myself. because i enjoy viewing nude art as well. and i can't say i haven't been turned on by and image or two before, though very rarely. maybe it's my romantic mind, but what turns me on most is substance. what's the point of a pretty picture that means nothing? it looks nice but that's it. i feel the same about people. i gravitate toward depth of character, soulfulness, good conversation, looking for meaning in things. my personal definition of art (and this is something i've thought alot about and wrote a paper on in college) is: something that is pleasant to look at (or enjoy with other senses) AND/OR has a meaning behind it (the best art achieves both). people may not like looking at a dadaist's signed toilet or a minimalist's erased drawing, but there is a meaning behind it, a purpose; their purpose was to challenge the notion of "what is defined as art?" (this is the most far-reaching example on the fringe of my definition, all other types of art fit nicely into it!). anyway, sorry, i have a way of meandering with conversation and i've gone a bit off topic, but i hope you know what i'm talking about.
so just fyi, i never thank zero deviantion favers/watchers and from now on will also be blocking them. i guess mostly i just want to be appreciated for more than what i am on the surface and what my images are on the surface. i seek depth and meaning and purpose and i hope others might do the same in their lives, in their artwork viewing and their contact with others... or at least show the respect of acknowleging the person behind the image, even if they just said "hey this turned me on" i would at least appreciate the honest reaction and be left to ponder what it says about my art.
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